The thing that fucking kills me is that you could have lived with your grandparents. Makes it all so much goddamn worse.
Just commenting to say I'm reading these & hearing them and they do make sense.
(And, though it seems a bit selfish of me to mention it, I know you said you hoped it would help other people, so--some things you're saying are shedding light on stuff from my life, even though it was never as severe. Thank you.)