December 15th, 2009 06:41 am (UTC)
Re: Seeking help
This is how that offer breaks down in a way that makes it unacceptable:
"I'll pay for"--Personal benefit to him: look how I'm rescuing my poor, mad daughter, out of my own pocket, aren't I a saint (throw money at a problem he himself caused and look virtuous for it to everyone he tells about it, insulting bellatrys
and violating her privacy in the process)
"therapy"--Implication: you're crazy, and the problem's all in your head (insulting and untrue)
"of your choice"--Upcoming threat: and it'll be all your fault if it doesn't work (even though it does nothing to stop the root cause.)
Furthermore, just because he's seeing a therapist himself doesn't mean he's actively participating, and doesn't mean he's changing. He could be just paying the therapist to sit and listen while he whines about how messed up his life is. It does happen when the patient isn't as ready to make changes as he says (or even thinks) he is. Now I admit, I've no way of knowing the truth of that, but it's more to the point that bellatrys
doesn't either, and given the way he's thoroughly shredded his credibility with her, ("the problem was always that he would say...") she has no way TO know, and no reason to believe.
So it's not so surprising if she hasn't taken him up on his offer, even if it is sincere, because she's got no reason to believe it's as nobly intended as it sounds to you.