July 13th, 2009

eowyn

Only *Mostly* Dead

Real Life has won, pretty much - struggling to make rent and escape (so far unsuccessful, of course) from the underpaying job from hell with the skeezy wingnut boss who makes time-of-the-month remarks (yes, in my direct experience, every single printing company owner is a straight-from-the-1970s right wing Bircher-style crank, and if there are any exceptions in the greater Boston area I haven't encountered them yet) and dealing with various ongoing health issues that limit my abilities to do lots of things that I'd like to do, lots of the time. Also local political activism in the narrowest sense, trying to save our inadequate local transit system from being gutted still further, at an eleventh-hour, all of which together have wrecked me pretty thoroughly for the past months - I just don't have heart for banter, I don't have patience for fools and people I otherwise respect saying stupid and/or counter-productive stuff (don't bother asking if I mean *you* particularly, it's not as simple as shoes fitting - just call me Esme--!) because pain and hunger and fear of eviction and the nauseated horror every morning as I go to work, all day at work and every hour after fearing the next morning have taken away most all my elan let alone joie de vivre, and what little was left has been burnt away by the Majickal Thinkers (sic) both Christian and atheist (oh, yes) who keep insisting that it's just my Lack Of Sufficient Faith (in Jesus or alternately, in myself) that's holding me back from getting a good job - apparently Negative Thoughts stick to the outsides of envelopes and attach themselves to email headers so that prospective employers are repulsed by them, meaning it's All My Fault that they don't call me or hire me (but not anything to do with lack of relevant job experience or certifications, natch!) And every single attempt and prospect of side work that would at least be ekeful has fallen through, as I fall farther behind. I can't talk, now - either other people are saying it better or I've said what needs to be said in the past before my invention flagged and my concentration was broken.

I can't even deal with the siblings who have gone 9/12-er and all of that muck (even though - I just don't know, is it more reassuring or not that I STILL can't be 100% certain that "zombies" and "zombie apocalypse" are wingnut code for "black people" and "the Coming Race War" or just referring to generalized fears of liberals rounding them up in camps /anarchy in the streets (TM) under liberal domination) and the little bits of cheering daily life living in an Unghetto - the unremarked PDAs of interracial couples of all ages, the groups of teens hanging out looking like teams of superheroes from 80s cartoons, the Yankee girl in the tank top and shorts and the African girl in the red-sequined veil over blue jeans sharing intense emotional Grrl!Power conversation at the coffee shop, the olive-skinned grandmother shepherding two Little Leaguers, one white, one black, all speaking Spanish, off to practice, the large jockish white Dude greeting an older African woman in a tignon with polite delight and recollections of a shared class at a local college, the black cop showing up to write up my white neighbors-from-hell on this floor for something yet again I don't know what - well, that last's not a small part of the soul-killing of the past half-year, though they're finally leaving, or some of them, this week--

But despite being all out of aces - and yet not as bad off as many, which is itself another absent ace - I owe it to you all who are worrying about me to at least flash running lights and open hailing frequences, so--

First, a major notice: Odd Lots is moving. Digitalspace is not even a shell of what it was: I hoped and hoped that Jumpline would get their act together, but they've only gotten worse, and all hope was dashed after finding out that they had done this to two other companies that they acquired (that I know of) and that alienating customers doesn't seem to faze them at all (yes, that is how you spell that faze, it has nothing to do with the ph-phase and "phaze" is not a real word, yet. [/pedant]) so when they screwed up the billing repeatedly and blew me off when I emailed them about it, was the last straw.

So reluctantly and sadly and with deep regret for the inevitable linkrot, I am relocating to a new webhost - Hawk Host, which is presently what Digitalspace used to be, only with a stronger development plan from what I can tell, and (hopefully) no plans to sell out after the owner gets tired of dealing with expansion of customer base. And I dug deep for a domain as well - it's going to be oddlots.flyingship.net, and replacing "digitalspace" with "flyingship" should solve most link problems and bring you to the old files without too much 404.

It will be a while before I get it all over there and all the internal links working, but the shell of the site and most of the download files are already there. (The fact that there is working control panel software and site reporting stats again is helping facilitate things, a lot.) Eventually all the stars on the splash screen will be live and lead to the different sections of Odd Lots - I thought about making them animated twinkling gifs, but I don't hate anybody that much, misanthrope tho' I may be!

As ever, anything there may be linked/quoted/reposted-if-you-drop-me-a-line (and even if you don't I won't care too much) - just be conscientious about credit & plagiarism and all, for your souls' sake. (And if Jumpline ever acquires your webhost - just cut-and-run, don't keep hoping and holding on for better days to come.)

Also, one of the things I am trying in yet another probably-vain attempt to monetize my life experience (oops, was that another Negative Thought--?) is a pro blog (that is, it has ads, for the first time I've ever done something with deliberate ads on it) called Prepress Arcana. We'll see if the google ads make back the cost of hosting... again, the content is all linkable/quotable/otherwise-usable, the point of it being mainly for me to decrease ignorance in my field (gotta head full of ideas/and they're driving me inSANE - but I still got to work on Maggie's Farm, alas)

However, unless/until Dreamwidth adds an image hosting service, I'm not moving this blog.

Otherwise:

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