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Genre-Zombie says: I can has critic? - Nothing New Under The Sun
(the ARX acta diurna)
bellatrys
bellatrys
Genre-Zombie says: I can has critic?
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From: deiseach Date: July 6th, 2007 04:05 pm (UTC) (Link)

*applauds wildly*

From the friends of the neighbours of the writers for the cousins of the directors whose workmates used to go out with the producers of the infamous

"ATTACK OF THE MAN-HATING FEMINAZIS!"

and the fearsome

"FAT, UGLY LESBIANS COMPLAIN ABOUT SEXY FEMALES ON COMIC BOOK COVERS!
(- But if they're lesbians, wouldn't they *like* sexy females on comic book covers? - Shut up, man, do you want people to think you're gay?)"

and the notorious

"WE'RE AMATEURS AND WE'RE STEALING YOUR READERSHIP, BWAHAHAHA!"

comes the latest in spine-tingling terror:

No-one is safe in their bed!

No-one is safe in their library!

No-one is safe in their bcokshop!

Out of the mist it shambled, mewling and oozing - it's hungry for brains (and good taste, a place in the Canon of Western Literature, a couple of paragraphs in, say, The Times Literary Supplement or The Modern Review, and hey, a bursary from the Arts Council or a week at Annamakerig would be nice, too) and it wants to eat yours!!!!!

Pixel-stained Technopeasant Wretches are proud to present:

THE RETURN OF THE GENRE-ZOMBIE

Do YOU dare examine your bookshelves tonight?
fledgist From: fledgist Date: July 7th, 2007 12:40 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: *applauds wildly*

Mewling? Wouldn't that be Return of the Genre-Zombie-Lolcatz?

That's just wonderful!!!
From: deiseach Date: July 7th, 2007 02:09 am (UTC) (Link)

Okay, Mr. Smartypants

*You* tell me what an undead cyborg alien warrior princess zombie with robotic vocal chords and a rotting tongue would sound like as she lurches towards you, chainmail bikini askew, seeking to brand you with the mark of genre infamy!

Zombie lolcatz - now there's a notion to strike fear into the bravest heart...
fledgist From: fledgist Date: July 7th, 2007 02:46 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Okay, Mr. Smartypants

Ex-ter-min-nate-z. Ex-ter-mi-nate-z.

bellatrys From: bellatrys Date: July 7th, 2007 04:01 pm (UTC) (Link)

Awright, you two, knock it off!

After all, we don't want TEH MAINSTR33M to think we're Unserious, do we?
From: deiseach Date: July 7th, 2007 04:17 pm (UTC) (Link)

Aw, rats, you're no fun

And we could have worked it up into a nice little feud, too, with cliques and factions and experts on zombies/linguistics/zombie linguistics throwing in their tuppence worth...
fledgist From: fledgist Date: July 7th, 2007 04:33 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Aw, rats, you're no fun

Feud? And I was after hoping I'd be invited for tea and scones..... (after all, I do live just off Waterford St)... I can has brains?
From: deiseach Date: July 8th, 2007 12:41 am (UTC) (Link)

Wars have started over less

I'm practically nearly certain it is obligatory (for the sake of our fannish credentials) to swear undying enmity and duel to the death (lightsabres optional) over the finer points of minutiae such as the exact phrasing an undead cyborg bionic alien warrior princess genre zombie would use as it lurched stiff-legged and decomposing towards its terrified victim.

And you were the one mentioned Daleks - dude! no!

*Has* to be the Cybermen, what else in this context?

(Cyberman? Cyberwoman? Damn it, has political correctness reached this far and should I be saying Cyberperson?)
fledgist From: fledgist Date: July 8th, 2007 02:29 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Wars have started over less

Does that mean no tea and scones? Drat!

You're right, it should be the Cyberfolk.... Only they never said EX-TER-MI-NATE.

From: deiseach Date: July 8th, 2007 02:52 am (UTC) (Link)

Not really a scone person

But knock yourself out - here's some virtual strawberry jam (the Wexford strawberries are in season right now) and some cream, and a nice strong cup of Barry's tea.

Milk? How many sugars?

"Only they never said EX-TER-MI-NATE"

And we're back where we started: just what would a zombie utter if it didn't mewl as it tottered grimly onwards? And that's "mewl (cry weakly or softly)", not "mew/meow/miaow (sound zombielolcatz make)" Sure, there's the ever-popular low, guttural moaning, but still - and besides, I don't think they want to exterminate, more assimilate (oh great, now I've dragged the Borg in.)

Hey, the Borg! Cyborg bionic alien warrior princess - that's covered, save for the undead bit. Zombie Borg? Whaddya think? *Is* it possible for Borg to be zombies, what with the nanotech and all? The way Seven resurrected Neelix after he was well dead? And as a digression - why? Neelix was finally dead and gone and well and truly an ex-annoyance, and they brought him back! Noooo!!!!

I'm telling you, this discussion could run and run!
bellatrys From: bellatrys Date: July 8th, 2007 12:00 pm (UTC) (Link)

brain...broken...divide by cucumber--

The way Seven resurrected Neelix after he was well dead? And as a digression - why? Neelix was finally dead and gone and well and truly an ex-annoyance, and they brought him back! Noooo!!!!

You're kidding, right?

I didn't see a whole lot of that show, but - WTF? They killed off Neelix [Yay! Most annoying comic relief pre-Jar-Jar EVAR] and then they brought him back again?!?!?!

Why? For the love of Murphy, WHY?????
fledgist From: fledgist Date: July 7th, 2007 04:31 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Awright, you two, knock it off!

Oh noes!!
bellatrys From: bellatrys Date: July 8th, 2007 11:58 am (UTC) (Link)

a Zombie-catz sighting?

here at caribou's place.
fledgist From: fledgist Date: July 8th, 2007 01:05 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: a Zombie-catz sighting?

Now, that's a hungry cat!
From: deiseach Date: July 8th, 2007 11:34 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: a Zombie-catz sighting?

That cat *does* look like it's going "Braaaaaaains!"
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